A Hockey Helmet and Duct Tape

Hard to believe it’s only 1 more sleep till Christmas.  I really can’t believe how fast this past year has gone.  It has been a full and amazing year; one filled with challenges, failures and achievements.  In all a year that has been an incredible year of learning.  Along with all the preparation for Christmas this month, I have been working on a few more specifics in my training.  The past couple of weeks (more so the last week), Sihing Robinson and I have been working on our weapons choreography.   Working on the form with the nunchuks is one thing; however trying to work with it against another weapon has been a whole other learning curve.  I never expected working with a hinged weapon to be easy.  I have realized that actually making contact with another wooden weapon when striking can be unpredictable, especially when you are first playing with it.  My best friend during these practice sessions has been my old hockey helmet and duct tape.  I may look ridiculous but have fewer bruises thanks to it.  With this weapon I have been playing with for the past 10 months for forms, I now am trying to figure out how it could be used in reality as a weapon.  Just the start of more learning!  I have enjoyed working on this and look forward to after Christmas working on it again, hopefully without the helmet!

I’d like to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas.  Take time to enjoy all the blessings you have and we will see everyone in the New Year (except the I Ho Chuan, see you on Thursday).

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

Just A Big Elastic

This past Friday I started physio for my shoulder.  The last month things have gone a little downhill and I am getting desperate to fix it.  Loss of feeling and strength, pain and aching and loss of sleep are starting to take its toll.  On Friday I left the clinic and was sent home with 2 big elastics and a list of exercises.  I have to be honest and say that I couldn’t believe that after everything I do in my training, that a few exercises with a giant elastic was going to have any impact whatsoever.  It seems I might be wrong.  Friday night, all day Saturday and still today, I have a feeling in my arms that I have done all 50,000 push ups in one evening.  I’ve been told that I need to build on the rotator muscles and some of the muscles in my neck.  As piddley as these exercises may appear, they seem to be having some impact on my body already (hopefully soon it will be positive). 

 What I am finding to be the most disheartening is the thought that I may be letting down others.  If it’s just myself affected, that’s one thing but if my inabilities start having a negative impact on others around me, their training and their goals; that’s where I have a hard time.  I know that I need to progress wisely and be patient with myself, which is challenging since I have so much to work on right now. 

So I will give the big elastic a chance and work on all the muscles I have been neglecting (without even knowing it) and keep moving forward.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

Another Year Almost Gone

It is hard to believe that we are almost at the end of another year.   As I have been working on my list of personal challenges for this upcoming year, I have come to the conclusion that I’m not done with some of this year’s list.  I like the direction things are going and what I have actually had the courage to try the past year and definitely want to stay with the momentum.   Although I have accomplished or come close to meeting most of the goals I set out for myself, I have found myself wanting to further challenge myself and expand on some things.  Why let a good thing die?  I have come up with a couple new ones to add to my list, one might be shooting for the stars, but is not impossible.  I’m excited for this next year.  The last 10 months I’ve learnt a lot, things that work for me and others that don’t.  I hope I’ve gotten a little wiser and can tackle my challenges in a way that will continue growth and get me closer yet to accomplishing some pretty great things.

 

I’ve had a hard time posting this for a couple of days, hope it works this time.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

Take A Moment

Like for most people I know, these days seem crazy busy, just never enough time.  So many of us are stressed out and have our unending lists that keep haunting us.  Why do we have such a hard time just taking some time to relax and appreciate the moment?  Why does it sometimes take getting sick or feeling burnt out for us to finally realize we need to slow down? 

This last week I was fortunate to have a friend who after morning class, TOLD me to get in the car and ask no questions.  A little reluctant and a tad nervous I jumped in and off we went.  After a couple of stops our final destination was the Mutart Conservatory.   We walked and talked and laughed.  When we got to the last room it was filled with poinsettias and Christmas decorations, smelled like cedar, with soft Christmas music in the back ground, we sat and visited (and might have snuck some chocolate) for quite some time.  It was a wonderful day, in a beautiful place with a great friend.

 I didn’t get anything crossed off my list, but it wasn’t the end of the world and the list was still there the next day.  What I didn’t realize was that others were seeing in me what I felt but didn’t take the time to acknowledge.  I think we all need to take the time do things we enjoy.  We need to cut ourselves some slack and realize we don’t always have to have an end product to prove that our day was a success.   When we actually take the time to slow down and do something just because we enjoy it, we are probably going to be in better shape to attack the things we have to.

Thanks to my friend with the chocolate in her pocket!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

Just Relax!

This last week has been kind of blah for me.  I’ve been feeling a little under the weather since Wednesday, and still not feeling wonderful yet today.  Tis the season for bugs!  This week I have been trying to focus on relaxing my shoulders.  I have been told repeatedly the last couple weeks (and on other occasions) to relax, let my shoulders down; if only it was that easy.   I seem to catch myself constantly with my shoulders up right under my ears, whether it is doing a form, driving or even cooking supper.  What started as being careful after injuring my shoulder four years ago has turned into a bad habit of trying to protect it constantly.  The tension, numbness and pain has become an expected part of each day for me.  It is very rare for me to have a full night sleep without numbness turning into aching pain starting in my shoulder and going to the tips of my fingers (no wonder I’m so tired).   Over the last couple of years the numbness has started to hit during the day.  Certain things in class can trigger it (even just standing with my hands behind my back), washing the car with the pressure washer and even vacuuming.   I’ve been told to avoid things that aggravate it, but most times I don’t even know what that may be until it’s too late.  For the last year I have been trying the massage, chiropractor, acupuncture, Recovery etc….  with only temporary results.  So this week I’m back to the basics.  I have been trying to be very aware throughout my days to relax and let the shoulders down.  I have to admit it has not been easy and I am still catching myself constantly but it’s a start.  Crumb, just caught myself again as I type this!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

 

So... how did it go?

The most popular question of the weekend for me, so…. how did it go?   Two days later and I’m still not sure how to completely answer that.  How I’m feeling has changed a few times from Saturday night up until this very moment as I reflect and think about the day and this entire last year. 

After walking out of the kwoon Saturday night and crawling (yes crawling) into my vehicle, I felt happy. My happiness wasn’t with my feeling on how I performed but rather that I had, after so many doubts, taken the risk and tried.  I came home to a quiet house, made a couple of phone calls to a pacing husband and brother, then took my dog for a walk (2km route was all I was up for), not quite believing that the day was done.  

For me, this was accomplishing another challenge.  I don’t do well up in front of people and add the pressure of an exam, well seems to me a recipe for disaster.  However, I made it through the day and was still on the right side of the grass (or snow) at the end of it.  The day was humbling and exhausting.  I couldn’t believe how exhaustion can take away the details of technique.  Techniques I had practiced over and over again got sloppy and some details missed.  It pointed out some very obvious things I need to work on as well as things I wasn’t even totally aware of.  I came out overwhelmed and couldn’t believe just how much I had learned throughout one day. There is no doubt after Saturday that I have totally just started learning, this is truly just the beginning of how much there is yet to learn. 

I have started three lists since Saturday night for myself.

1.)    What to do differently to prepare

2.)    What I need to work on

3.)     What I learned (everything I could remember)

Overall, it was a good day.  It pushed me physically, mentally and spiritually beyond where I thought I would be willing to go. 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

One Step Forward, Two Back

I’ve had a hard time writing this week.  I’m not sure how to put into words where I am or how I’m feeling.  Plain and simple, I have been feeling exhausted and kind of burnt out. 

I have struggled trying to figure out if what I am feeling is ‘normal’ at this stage in the game.  I have had the feelings of one step forward and two back.  Last week ends forms seminar was another of those two steps back.  I had for the most part learnt the Lau Gar form from watching video.  Although a great tool, it’s not perfect.  Most details in the form I missed on tape.  So for over a year I had been practicing and building muscle memory that wasn’t right on.  Trying to change those habits isn’t as easy as I would have hoped. I learned an incredible amount in the 4 hours last Saturday and a big thanks to my very patient instructor.  When it came to performing my form in front of everyone at the end of the day, there I choked.  Not only did I have to perform in front of people but I found myself thinking ahead instead of focusing on what I was actually doing at that moment.  I was trying to remember and process everything I had just learnt and my brain hurt.  I heard the little voice in my head saying “when you get to … make sure you don’t forget…” and “remember not to …”   

Then there is performing in front of others.  I have for 39 years let this fear stand in my way in many areas of my life.   I have tried to figure out where it originated from, but can’t for the life of me come up with anything.  I grew up in a loving and supportive family, I had good friends, I wasn’t put down or belittled, so where does this lack of confidence come from?    Somewhere over the years I have allowed this to continue and let it hold me back from doing a number of things in life.   The past two years in kung fu has pushed me little by little out of my comfort zone.  This year alone I think I have made steps forward (little they may be). After 39 years I can’t realistically expect change overnight, so this is something I am going to have to make a conscious effort at continually. Guess what’s on my mind for my 2013 challenges!

 I have travelled along this journey for six years now.  I had no idea at the start the incredible ride this was going to be.  As students of Silent River, we are all working towards mastery, toward something out of the ordinary.  It’s not supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to challenge us so we can grow and become different and better people than when we first started.

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

A Kung Fu Family

I have had quite a bizarre last couple of weeks.  I have, in my training, gone from low to high in a matter of days, and find myself trying to figure out how.  I had my battle with the boards which left me with the feeling of defeat and then a week later I had this incredible change of attitude and feeling that I can’t explain.  I expect and am familiar with the anxious, worrying feeling, however, this calm and at peace girl, I didn’t recognize.  I hope she decides to stay! 

After leaving the demo last Saturday with unbroken boards in my bag, I spent two days preparing for Monday.  These two days were without anxiety and dread; I was even able to get two good night sleeps without dreaming about boards out to get me (and yes, some of the boards did have legs).    I enjoyed my time with my family without feeling distracted by thinking about what went wrong at the demo.  After kids were in bed Saturday and Sunday, and on Monday after they left to school I gave my attention to focusing on what went wrong and what I was going to do to fix it.  When Monday evening came around I saw only boards.  I felt calm and determined (only a little shaky).  What a difference a change in mind set can make.

I have over the last 6 years heard ‘kung fu family’ mentioned repeatedly.  I can’t honestly say I fully understood that until this last week.  Saturday, when I walked away with two of my boards still in one piece, I was congratulated on the ones that I did break.  When Monday rolled around and all four boards broke, there were genuine smiles and congrats from everyone, even a few texts and emails that night, just like a family!   I feel very privileged to be a part of such a group of people. Because we are all here with similar goals, we can truly understand the significance of an achievement like this for a fellow student.  Thanks everyone!

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

Preparing For Round Two

This morning started off early.  Off to hockey, rush to the kwoon, off to the library, back to the kwoon for a meeting, shopping for Christmas boxes, stop at the pet store (came back with two fish, don’t know how that happened) and then back home to spend the evening with my boys.  As exhausted as I feel, somehow I haven’t been able to fall asleep, so here I write.

Today I made my first attempt publically to break my boards at the demo at the library.  I was not successful.  The weird thing is, I’m not feeling the same defeat and frustration I felt, this time last week. All afternoon and evening I have been thinking about a comment that Sifu Brinker made at todays I Ho Chuan meeting.  He was talking about the importance of a public journal, especially making our failures public.  Ouch!  For someone who isn’t a fan of getting up in front of people anyway, being up front for everyone to see me fail was kind of hard to swallow (especially knowing there was evidence on tape).  This comment really stuck with me all day.   Its so much safer to fail in private.  If we never take a risk, we won’t get past those things that stand in our way.  If we let the fear of failure keep us from trying things or believe that we have to trudge along on our own, how is anyone ever supposed to know when or where we may need help?  Yes this is our own personal journey; however, we are fortunate to belong to a school of encouraging and empathetic fellow students and instructors who are there to help when we hit road blocks.  I have experienced this firsthand the last week.  I had to bottom out before I was willing to admit where I was, but when I did I was met with encouragement and advice, and I thank everyone for that. 

Some people may see reaching out as a sign of weakness, but I disagree.  I think it takes honesty and true strength to admit that things aren’t great, that we are struggling and that we need help.  I have also come to the conclusion that it is what we choose to do with those ‘failures’ that determines whether they truly are a failure or just an opportunity to try again and to grow in the process.

So here I am with the ‘opportunity’ to try again.  I will probably watch the video over and over to see what went wrong and what I can change to make my next time a success.  I am still disappointed but I have to admit I have learned a lot from this.  I have discovered that yes, I can break a board and that no, it doesn’t have to hurt.  I have learned that I can’t and am not willing to give up.  I have learned that I can’t let a failure in one thing take over the successes I may have in other things.  Isn't it through our mistakes and failures we sometimes learn the most?  So I prepare for round two!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

The Feeling of Defeat

This last week for me has been a struggle.  I have been trying to prepare for and was hoping to complete my board breaking requirement at Saturdays demo.   I have spent an awful lot of time working on shields and in the air, trying to come up with combinations that feel good and will be successful for me.   Last week in our 5:00am practice I thought it was time to try a real board.  I felt I needed the confidence that I could do it and that if it went well, Saturday during the demo, breaking would be a breeze.  It didn’t work out as I planned.  Monday, I got through the board, but my knuckle didn’t fare so well.  Thursday morning came around and I thought, let’s try again with the other side of my hand and a different strike.  Needless to say, that went worse yet.  My first strike I tried to power through without technique.  The second strike was great, went through like butter, however, by then my entire hand started swelling almost immediately from the first unsuccessful attempt. 

As I headed home after practice I felt this huge disappointment and frustration.  I have been anxious and sidetracked with a feeling of defeat.  I want so bad to break those suckers and carry on but now I have hit a huge wall mentally.  This last week I have felt deflated and felt some of the “passion, vigor and vitality” sucked out of me.   

As I have thought back over the last six years, I have had high points and low points.  There are just those days when things go well and you feel like you’re on fire, and then there are the other ones, where you feel like throwing yourself in a fire.  One of my great lows was an absolute fear of sparring.  The two most frightening words I could hear were “gear up.” I had come to a point where I even had contemplated quitting kung fu (crazy words).   What bothered me so much was the fact that I loved kung fu and I really wasn’t prepared to throw in the towel.  So with many, many hours spent in our garage with my very patient husband and brother, I worked through it.  Today I have come to really enjoy and look forward to sparring. 

Like my sparring dilemma, I need to have a change in attitude.  This is important to me and not something I’m willing to give up on.  I am not going to say “I can’t” but rather “I haven’t YET.”  This is going to be a better week, bring on the boards!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

The Journey

At the beginning of this I Ho Chuan year, I thought I had an advantage with both Darcy and I being on the team together.  First off I thought how great is this that we will be going through everything together and at the same time, we’ll be so on the same page.  With this being my first year in I Ho Chuan (never on the UBBT) I didn’t fully know what to expect and forgot the whole individual journey stuff.  I have learned so much this last year and realized how off I was in my thinking.  Darcy and I both have our own individual list of challenges.  We both have different ideas how to accomplish what we have set out to do.  We definitely have different schedules, his with A LOT less time than mine.  We both have our own individual perspective on things.  However, even though we are on our own path, we still are both working toward mastery in many different areas of our lives and are there for one another to help where we can.

 These days I seem to be trying so hard to juggle time in order to get everyone where they need to be. I’m trying to spend the time I need training and at the same time not take away from anyone else in my family.  With our kids 15 and 10 years old, some people might argue that they are old enough to stay at home on their own for long lengths of time.  Well I disagree.  I know legally they are fine and I trust they won’t burn down the house deliberately, but I believe they still need and want their parents around (even though they may not admit it).  In the world today our kids are dealing with many more pressures than I remember at their age.  They are expected to and are trying to grow up too fast.   I feel privileged when my kids choose spending time with their family over going out with friends.    I know it’s not always going to be like this; already the times are getting less, so I will enjoy it while I can.

So here we are with four people in our house, all having to go in different directions all on the same night.  This has had its own list of challenges.  With Darcy out of town it seems to get complicated even a little more. I am so fortunate to have family and friends, who without a second thought, are there in a heartbeat.  Sometimes I think they may have been there all along just waiting to be asked.  I have to thank Darcy, who has on days off, driven kids or stayed at home with kids so I could attend classes and demo practices. Thanks Darc.  I know for him it’s an even tougher spot to be in, as he has missed so many classes and wants to be there and at the same time has missed his family and needs to be there as well. 

 I know balance is the key, and we are definitely working on it continually; changing it as circumstances in our life change.   

Alana Regier                 

 http:// alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

 

I'm Thankful For...

Last weekend our family took off to the mountains for a few days.  Even though we saw the forecast of white and cooler temperatures, we were troopers.  What started out as a ‘I’m not sure we aren’t going to freeze’ idea turned into an absolutely wonderful and relaxing weekend.

The mountains, for our entire family, is a place not only that we all crave to go to but one that relaxes and rejuvenates us.  The further west we went on Friday morning the more snow we saw along the roadside.  When we got to our destination we were snow free with the sun shining.  The entire weekend I was in absolute awe of the blessings and the opportunities I have.  Looking around at my family and the incredible mountain scenery, I couldn’t help but think how we can so easily take for granted everything that God has given us.  As our family sat around the fire having our thanksgiving barbequed salmon (didn’t want to use all the propane on a turkey, might need that for heat at night), we got in the discussion of what we are thankful for.  We live in a fast paced world.  Not enough time is given to truly relaxing and appreciating, but when you sit back and truly think about what we are so fortunate to have how can a person not just say WOW! 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

I Ho Chuan Benefits

In the beginning of the year, as I looked at the list of requirements I saw them as that, a list.  I felt overwhelmed and hadn’t really taken the time to think about what the purpose was for each one.  It wasn’t until I started working to meet them that I looked closer and saw that they were picked very deliberately, each with its own purpose, to help us advance in our training and to help better us as individuals. These challenges, both the ‘listed’ and those I chose for myself, were no longer just a list written on paper but rather requirements and challenges that were important to me and that I was going to be held accountable for by an entire team of people. 

The one’ listed’ requirement that has benefited me hugely, is the logging.  It has made me AWARE in black and white.  Logging of sit ups, push ups, km’s, random acts of kindness, diet log, numbers for sparring and repetitions of forms has all helped make me aware of what I am doing and of exactly how engaged I am.  I look at the numbers and what seemed like an impossible number to meet at the beginning of the year, is now a number I’m trying to see if I can beat.  I can see where I am doing well and where I need to pull up my socks.   The benefit of this requirement to me is awareness, motivation and accountability.  Logging has helped me to keep on track towards the goals I have set out for myself and helped me to move forward, sometimes the long way (1 step forward, 2 back). 

As for personal challenges, those I chose with the focus being on what was important to me in my life.    In some way they were all related to bettering my relationships.  I have found that the mending a relationship requirement for I Ho Chuan, complimented my own personal challenges.  I had a hard time in choosing a relationship to mend.  After a lot of thought, the one I chose happened to better all other relationships in my life as well as keep me sane and mentally at peace. 

I can see the value in each and every requirement.  Looking back over the year so far is encouraging to me, to see how much positive change and growth there has been (a lot not visisble on the outside).  The challenges I chose at the beginning have been altered a little here or there, or new ones added as circumstances have changed in life but always with the movement being forward.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 Sorry for not posting this last week before heading out of town!  Out of service area.

 

  

 

I Finally See

For quite some time, I have been repeatedly told to relax my shoulders when doing forms.  Although I don’t feel like I’m all tense or have my shoulders raised (nunchuks excluded), Wednesday I saw it for myself.   In Wednesday mornings class Sifu Specht videoed one of my forms and holy cow, my shoulders were up to my ears.  It was the first thing I noticed watching myself.  I can totally see now what others have seen for quite some time.   It’s funny how different a person can look compared to how they feel they look.  I’m pretty sure that when I am in our garage with only me, myself and I, my shoulders and the rest of me are more relaxed.  I know that the thought of someone watching or a camera, automatically makes me a little rigid (stage fright).  Need to work more on this.

The last little while, I have been trying to work on 18 temple motions, to sink into my stances and to time that with finishing my moves.  As I have been reminded lately, slower forms show errors easier.  The benefit to actually seeing myself on camera is incredible.  It’s been a while since I have videoed and viewed my forms.  I’m finding this even more helpful now in trying to work a little more on some details.  I can see what I am doing and what I’m not and should be.  I can even see possible reasons why some moves don’t feel comfortable or as natural as they should and find myself with some direction as to how to work on fixing it.

A couple of days ago I saw a poster that said “The race for quality has no finish line.” I think as a martial artist I can appreciate this comment because we are always looking to improve and to better ourselves as martial artists, as individuals and in turn the community and the world around us.  We aren’t looking toward a finish line, but rather continuing to learn along our journey.

My plan now, is to get our oldest son to video me doing all my forms.  I’d like to focus on one at a time and see what I can do to improve them.  Well, off to the garage to practice before my camera man is home from school!

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

So Much to Learn

In Monday evening’s class I had the opportunity to work on some techniques with a couple different partners than I regularly work with.  A lot of times in classes when we are told to partner up, I quite often pick the same couple of people every time.  They are the ones who are close to my size or happen to be standing closest to me.  Monday night I found out yet again that trying a technique on someone my own size can feel very different on someone twice my size.  Not only did it feel awkward and without flow, it seemed like a totally different technique altogether.   Everyone is different in height, weight, have different amounts of strength and different levels of flexibility and with that I am finding it necessary to adjust slightly or soften, with some techniques, to make them effective.  Oh so much to learn!

Last night in Sihing class, we did sparring, and again I had to find different ways to get in with different opponents.  What worked on one person certainly didn’t work with someone else.   Coming from someone who was deathly afraid of sparring a couple of years ago, I have come to really enjoy it because of a great group of classmates that are patient, helpful and in control.   I’d like to especially thank Sihing Langner who came directly up to me after class to offer some suggestions as to how I could get in on him and past that great kick he always gets me with.  Thanks Sihing, I’ll try that secret move next time!  It is moments like this, with people like this that truly make a person want to come back for more.

I learn something with every partner I work with, whether they are twice my size or half my size.   Working with some of the younger kids has given me the opportunity to try new things in my sparring that I’m a little more leery of trying with some of the bigger, stronger and faster guys in class.  They also give me practice with smaller target zones.  The bigger guys, well, still working on that.  I’m determined to figure out the bonk on the head that Sihing Tymchuk gives me every time.   I’m not giving up yet!

Thanks again everyone!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

Procrastinating

Procrastinator is not usually a word that could be used to describe me.  I am usually quite the opposite.   My day is a better day as soon as I get the ‘have to get done’ things out of the way or I have been able to scratch some things off my list.  At the beginning of every month I have gone over what the Sihings next month’s assignment is and have, for the most part, used my days wisely.  I have always had the next assignment completed at least a week before the actual due date, most times earlier.  So I was quite out of my realm when I found myself getting a little too close for comfort to the due date for one of the last assignments.  In all honesty, it was an assignment that I had attempted to get at quite some time before the actual due date.  However, it was one that I had a hard time with and found myself struggling, so I put it off.  During the 2 weeks before it was due, I was very stressed and felt under pressure (all self-inflicted).  I learnt (and so did my kids) that it doesn’t pay to put things off.  The more I struggle with things, usually means that I need to give it even more time, not push it off and try to squeeze it into a smaller time frame. 

 I totally respect and appreciate deadlines.  Without them things would be unorganized and chaotic.  The deadlines given to Silent Rivers students are for a purpose and are to benefit not only ourselves as students but our instructors.  For ourselves we learn responsibility and a higher level of commitment.    By meeting the deadlines we show respect and appreciation for the time and dedication our instructors give to us and our training. 

Although some people can and some may even thrive with doing things last minute, I am not one of these people.  In the end this has been another great learning experience for me.  I messed up, plain and simple.  I went against everything in my personality and paid the consequences for it; exhaustion (because of late nights) and unnecessary stress.

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

 

The Power of Words

I have now been a student of Silent River Kung Fu for almost 6 years.  In those 6 years I have gone up and down in my training, kind of like a roller coaster.  Like most everyone, we have days that things are going awesome and then those where things aren’t so great. 

Last week I had a comment made to me that really hit me.  It had me question the direction I have been trying to go.  It was amazing what affect those few words had on me.  I felt instantly discouraged and felt the motivation sucked out of me.  I know there was no intention of hurting anyone when the words were said; however, perception for one person can be very different for another. 

As I thought about it, I decided I have a choice.  I can either be defeated by it and give up, or I can prove the comment wrong.  I can work my butt off and show that things aren’t always as some may see.  I can’t honestly say that I’ve forgotten the words, but I have chosen to not let them destroy what I have tried to accomplish.  The power of words should not be underestimated.    What we choose to say we can’t take back.  We have the power to encourage and help build people up or just as much power to discourage and destroy. 

Alana Regier

alanaregier.blogspot.ca

How Do People See You?

A couple of weeks ago I was at a funeral for a neighbor.  I never had met her, but did know her husband.  She had been suffering from health issues since we moved to the neighborhood, and kept to herself in the house.  During the service a few friends got up to speak of memories they had and it got me thinking, how would people remember me?  How do people see me?

In the last week I have been in the process of getting personal character references from people who have known me for quite some time; both the good sides and the not so good (we all have them).    When I read what these friends had written, I was touched.  Moments were remembered that I hadn’t thought of in a long time and then there were things that I truly did not see as significant or out of the ordinary; but they mattered to someone.  It’s a good reminder that everything we do and say has an effect on someone and it’s up to us as to what that will be.

I found it funny how character traits that are seen as quality traits, vary from person to person.    From one person, they saw strength with something to do with a small engine.  For another, it was related to relationships with family and friends.  Guess which one was the girl answer and which the boy answer. 

I have to be honest and say that I feel like I haven’t always been the mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend that I want to be or could be.   We are always our own worst critics.   We all have a tendency to get busy and caught up in life.  The thought that ‘I’ll call them later’ or ‘I should stop by to see…’ , gets lost as there are not enough hours in the day.  When I think of all the opportunities I am given on a daily basis to make a difference for someone, I’m grateful and only hope that I will take advantage of every opportunity to make a positive difference for someone.  I have been made aware that everything I do, no matter how small it may seem to me, has the potential to matter greatly to someone else.

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

A Big Decision

I have found myself in a really weird and somewhat confused place the last three weeks.   Here we are with only nine days left till I must make the decision whether or not to grade this year.  As I have seen potential candidates make the very hard decision that this is not their year to grade, I have started questioning myself.  If they don’t believe they’re ready, how in the world do I think that I can be? 

I have been thinking of little else the last week, trying to figure out, how does a person know when they are ready for something like this?  As of tonight I still haven’t got the answer to this.  The last couple of days I have been reflecting on the last 8 months.  I have looked at my numbers, I have gone over my list of requirements, I have reviewed what I chose for personal challenges this year and  I have to say that I see this year as a success in that respect .  If anyone would have told me that at almost 40 years old I would be doing what I have the last year, I would have laughed at them and thought they were off their rocker.  Having to come up with a list of personal challenges and then be held accountable for completing them has been an amazing motivation for me to do things I always wanted to but didn’t have the courage to.  Logging pushups, situps, km’s, diet, etc.  has proven to myself that first it is possible and second has been a push to see if I could do better.

I have rediscovered the fact that this is an independent journey.  It is a decision that one must make for themselves and not make it dependant on what other people decide.  We may train together and encourage and help each other, but in the end it is only ourselves that can truly decide where we are mentally and make the choice of where we want to be.  I have gone over and over convincing myself that next year would be better.  It would give me more time to prepare, maybe life will slow down (now that one is a laugh), and maybe my knees and shoulder will be in better shape. . . . . . .blah blah blah.  What I have realized is that first off my life will not slow down.  The older I get and the more I use my knees and shoulders are they really going to feel better?  As for more time, well I believe the more time we have, the more we try to fill it with.   

I am finding this such a hard decision for the fact that because it is important to me, I don’t want to make the wrong one.   Well the clock says 12:11am, now only 8 days left!

Alana Regier

Back From Grande Cache

We got back from Grande Cache Monday evening.  What an absolutely incredible weekend!  Not only did I accomplish one of my challenges for this year, I really had FUN!   I didn’t make any record times, but I was happy with 2hours and 10 minutes.  I learnt that 19km on town paths is not the same as 19km up and down rocky slopes or running through swamp; its way more fun.  Next year I’m going to beat that time or better yet try a different leg!

Three of the biggest advantages I had:

1)      Family and friends encouraging me

2)      Having learnt how to breath in Kung Fu (thank you, oxygen is always good!)

3)      Many years of quading through bogs and swamps, you learn to pick routes that are safer, faster and even cleaner!

 Every person running had their own reasons.   For some, it was for bragging rights of saying “I ran the DEATH race!”  For others it was a personal challenge that they had for themselves.  For a few, it might have even been on a dare from friends (probably these are the ones running in jeans or fleece PJ’s).   I found it interesting to see how there seemed to be 2 types of people:  Those that it was all about them; these people were totally focused on the finish line, but missed the steps in getting there.  Then there were the others, who had concern and words for others along the way.   These were the people who I think got the most out of what they were doing.  They actually enjoyed the steps in between, the steps that got them to the finish line.   It was uplifting to see the people who would stop to see if the person laying on the ground in front of them was ok, if the lady doubled over with cramps needed a salt pill, if the guy beside looked like he was ready to quit and just needed that word of encouragement or the ones who just stopped for a moment to take in the view.

Our teams goal was to challenge ourselves but at the same time to appreciate the journey.  I can honestly say I have never been an enjoyer of running.  However this weekend, in this place, with these people I had a blast and ran with a smile on my face.   Although it was a personal challenge for me, it was very much a team effort.  This was a wonderful example of what working together and having others behind you can do.  This isn’t something I would have done well or even enjoyed on my own.  As each team member came into the end of their leg, the entire team (along with other family and friends) were there to meet them and to cheer them on.  I was excited and proud for each member as they accomplished what they had set out to do.  I was reminded that the encouragement, push and support from people around can help anyone move mountains, or at least run up one!

Alana Regier

My Worst Enemy

FATIGUE!  In the last 6 months, I can count on one hand, how many decent night sleeps I’ve had.    I’m finding it is having an impact on most everything I do, especially my training.  I’m scared to sit down with fears that I may not get back up again.  I am a person who enjoys always doing something, not  sitting around watching the grass grow.  However, somehow there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish what I have on my list or the energy to do so.  I can feel the fatigue in my joints and muscles, my memory, my mental alertness and lack of motivation.  Last Thursday night I went for my MRI on my knee, and even with the muffled sound of a jack hammer by my head, I actually fell asleep!    Today as I was painting the deck and was sitting down to reach low stuff, I could have fallen asleep in the paint tray, I was so tired.  I really need to figure this out.

So now I am trying to do what I can to wind down before hitting the hay.  I can’t say I have been very successful yet.  Here’s to hoping for a good night sleep tonight!

Alana Regier

Our Bags Are Packed!

Just a week to go and we are off to Grand Cache!  This week I have been going over the list of mandatory equipment to have and that which is recommended.  Our packs are getting full.  Duct tape on the recommended list didn’t surprise me, being there is nothing it can’t fix, however Vaseline, not sure about that one????  As nervous and a little anxious as I feel, I am definitely more excited than anything.  We have a great team and are going with the purpose of not only meeting a challenge, but one of having fun and enjoying the ride (or the run in this case).  

This upcoming week I am probably going to have to take it a little easy, as to not aggravate my knee.  I’m going to need it! 

Alana Regier

A Common Theme

The last few blogs posted seem to have a common theme about them.  They speak honestly of where people are in their life and the difficulty and challenges people are facing to meet their requirements and commitments.  I don’t believe that for anyone, being a part of the I Ho Chuan  team, is a walk in the park and life is rosy all the time.  We all face setbacks and discouraging moments.   Being honest with ourselves as well as with fellow team mates is the only way to change discouragement to something positive.  I listen to everyone in the monthly meetings openly tell the struggles they face and I find I can relate to everyone on some level.   It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one feeling bogged down, falling behind or struggling with feelings of disappointment and discouragement.

We are our own worst critics.   We have high expectations for ourselves and are disappointed when we don’t meet them.   We have all chosen challenges that are just that, challenges; they aren’t supposed to be easily accomplished.  We forget that life has a way of throwing obstacles that make us go off course and maybe fall a little behind of where we think we should be.  However, like has been said, when a person looks back to the beginning of the year and looks at the numbers add up in their log or sees personal challenges met or positive changes taking place in their relationships, how can we ever say that we failed? 

At the beginning of the year, my first couple of months were brutal.  I admit I was guilty of neglecting some of my other commitments, thinking that I had to put everything I had into my kung fu alone.  I wasn’t sure how to juggle everything and thought I had to pick one thing over the other.    It was in spending time on my personal challenges that I woke up.  I realized that if I neglect other parts of my life and only focus on kung fu alone, in the end, what have I truly accomplished

 Right now, I feel immense relief that I’m not neglecting the things that are truly important in my life and feel an incredible peace.   I am enjoying where I am and what I’m doing.   I have missed the demo and a meeting or class here or there, and have felt guilt every time.   I have had to accept that sometimes there are other places I have needed to be.  I am still totally engaged and determined.  I have set my goals and am going to do all that I can to accomplish them.   I’m not sure where I’ll be come fall, but I do know that I will be closer to my goal than I was at the beginning of the year.  I still have struggles continually, but I have found that I have been handling them differently than a few months ago.   Taking things day by day, step by step, trying to move progressively forward in the process.

Thanks to everyone who has been so honest and open to where they are and how they are feeling.  Sticking together and encouraging each other is a whole lot easier when you know more about your fellow team mates.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca/

Back from Holidays

 Although I left for holidays with the best intentions of being on the ball with my training, I fell short of all I wanted to do.  I still kept engaged with my sit ups and push ups, and kept racking up the kilometers.  Darcy and I found a 5 km nature trail that we took at least once a day.  Because the mosquitoes were so bad, we were forced to run most of the way; good training but not so fun in such hot temperatures.   We spent a lot of time at the ball diamonds, miniature golfing and of course fishing.  I practiced doing little pieces of forms in the lake, but was told by the kids that I was “kind of embarrassing them.”  So I changed it up and sat on the beach visualizing the moves as I watched the kids try to drown each other (good way to relax and not work up a sweat at 32 degrees above; very cool). 

The week and a half was a great time, with the highlight for me, being that our youngest son finally caught his first fish.  He has come home empty handed every time, but this week he pulled in more than his share.  The look of excitement on his face was a total Kodak moment.  He caught the first fish of the day, in less than an hour on the lake.  Totally awesome!

So after some rest and relaxing, it is time to get back to some sort of routine.  I am starting to feel a little anxious as I look at the calendar and realize that we are already well into July.   Our race day is coming up in just under 3 weeks and September is coming up fast.  So much to do!

Alana Regier

Take Me Back to the Mountains

Usually as soon as the kids are done their exams, our family takes off to the mountains.  This year we changed it up a bit and headed to the Ponoka Stampede. 

 As kids my family use to go to Ponoka pretty much every year, as we had grandparents and aunts and uncles who lived there.  However, as a child I saw only the flashy lights, horses, cotton candy and mini donuts.   I have tons of great memories spent with family.  However now as an adult I have a much different perspective.  I see the crowds; garbage everywhere and very intoxicated people off to find another party.  I think I’m realizing that my appreciation for the peace and quiet in nature outweighs the crowds and noise more each day.  Don’t get me wrong, we had a good time with family and friends, but next July long weekend, I think we will take them with us west to the mountains. 

We are now at Slave Lake to do some fishing.  Now this is more my style.  It’s not the mountains but its spending some quiet relaxing time with friends and family, what could be better than that?  We spent the last couple of afternoons out on the lake fishing.  The sun is shining and tonight it’s another fish fry!  There is something to be said about what relaxing and rest can do for a person, both physically and mentally.   I haven’t slept this well in months.   We are still racking up kilometers and spending lots of time at the ball diamonds and the beach every day.  It’s a different kind of training but one that has incredible benefits.  Well,  back to the lake again, it is soooooo hot!

Alana Regier

Oh no.......diet tracking!

Well, July is almost here, and time to start tracking!  As the month of July was mentioned for this, I just gulped, worried that now it’s going to be right out there as to where my weaknesses are (hmmmm chocolate).  I think I am probably going to discover just why I am one on the team, who is not down a pant size!

As for our families diet, it’s pretty good.  We’ve got the lets hurry meals because we have to have someone somewhere, but overall, we eat pretty healthy.  We are very conscious of what we eat and are into the label reading.  Unlike some people who need little to survive, our entire family is one who definitely needs food.  We would never last on Survivor, and would be first voted off because of extreme grouchiness! 

Although I am a little nervous as to what I will discover, I think it will be good for me.  Logging, for me, has turned out to be a great tool.  It has shown me just how much or how little I’m doing.  It’s right there on paper.  I have realized as I add up my numbers, 50,000 of this or 1000 of that, are not unachievable.  It has actually given me a little push thinking “I bet I can beat that number.”  Of course this is on some of my requirements, not all.

So for this diet tracking, all I can say is please don’t judge.  As we are on holidays, I will probably, ok for sure, eat a good old hot dog or two and a few nibs.  As the saying goes in our house when we indulge on that piece of pie or chocolate, “how many push ups is that worth?”

Alana Regier 

The Month of June

The month of June is flying by.  For our family, and probably many more, it is an incredibly busy month with the winding down of school, the start of holidays and yard work.  A couple of Fridays ago Sifu Brinker was doing the math, showing us just how fast time is going and how little time we have left until grading day.  Yikes!   A tad of anxiousness is setting in.  To add to my list, I have 6 weeks till race day.  What have I done?

Focusing on exams right now is a priority in our home.  Our oldest is in grade 9 and writing finals.  These marks are going to help determine what classes he gets next year in high school. That said, I haven’t been making it to all the evening classes I would like to lately, fortunately the morning classes are working well.  As for the running, I’m not exactly where I was hoping to be at this time thanks to hip and knee issues, but it is coming.   Right now with all the poplar fluff flying around I sound like Darth Vader running through the bush.  

We have well deserved and much needed holidays coming up as soon as the kids are out of school for a couple of weeks.  So what does this mean for training?  Well, on our holidays kung fu books always come with us (just need to open them more).  The shields are going to have to be packed, the foam mats and the good old running shoes.  A person can run anywhere, so that’s easy.  Although I need to keep going with my training, I also am discovering the benefit of rest and relaxation, both physically and mentally. Without taking that time to wind down and spend with the people I love and doing the things I enjoy, I will be one stressed out, grumpy basket case (my poor family). 

Alana Regier