Monday 19 November 2012

So... how did it go?


The most popular question of the weekend for me, so…. how did it go?   Two days later and I’m still not sure how to completely answer that.  How I’m feeling has changed a few times from Saturday night up until this very moment as I reflect and think about the day and this entire last year. 

After walking out of the kwoon Saturday night and crawling (yes crawling) into my vehicle, I felt happy. My happiness wasn’t with my feeling on how I performed but rather that I had, after so many doubts, taken the risk and tried.  I came home to a quiet house, made a couple of phone calls to a pacing husband and brother, then took my dog for a walk (2km route was all I was up for), not quite believing that the day was done.  

For me, this was accomplishing another challenge.  I don’t do well up in front of people and add the pressure of an exam, well seems to me a recipe for disaster.  However, I made it through the day and was still on the right side of the grass (or snow) at the end of it.  The day was humbling and exhausting.  I couldn’t believe how exhaustion can take away the details of technique.  Techniques I had practiced over and over again got sloppy and some details missed.  It pointed out some very obvious things I need to work on as well as things I wasn’t even totally aware of.  I came out overwhelmed and couldn’t believe just how much I had learned throughout one day. There is no doubt after Saturday that I have totally just started learning, this is truly just the beginning of how much there is yet to learn. 

I have started three lists since Saturday night for myself.

1.)    What to do differently to prepare

2.)    What I need to work on

3.)     What I learned (everything I could remember)

Overall, it was a good day.  It pushed me physically, mentally and spiritually beyond where I thought I would be willing to go. 

Alana Regier


 

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