Body Taking a Kicking

The last couple of months have found more downs than ups with moments of my numbers taking a kicking.  I’ve been dealing with a couple of issues lately but it was most recently my back that was impossible to ignore, hindering everything I tried to do.  I have very reluctantly found myself realizing that I’m going to have to start doing things a little different than I have in the past.  Up to this point my jobs have always depended on me being physically able, which honestly I have really enjoyed.  Unfortunately I have found many things getting a little harder than they seemed a few years ago.  I find myself feeling a little humbled, frustrated and a little scared.  Finding myself in this place I believe I need to start focusing on doing things with sustainability and longevity in mind.  As life changes I need to adapt, not give up but adapt.  To rely on one facet or one area of strength is dangerous.  What happens when that strength is threatened or out of operation all together?  Age, injury, illness or circumstances can change things in a heartbeat.  So this puts me in a position of having to dig a little deeper in developing and strengthening in some other areas of my life.  At this moment I don’t exactly know what that looks like for me.  I just know that I have to face the facts that some things are going to have to change and I am going to have to stop resisting that fact. 

For my kung fu right now I’m feeling behind.  Every class I miss, every demo I can’t participate in, every form that has to be modified or every day my numbers aren’t where I want them is tough to swallow.  However with that being said I find myself learning other lessons about myself, about others, about life.  Not all these lessons are easy or even fun and many are hard to admit, but they are there waiting to be acknowledged and worked on.  So in a time that seems to be one of great instability, I find myself feeling a little frazzled and searching.   These are the moments I truly hope will be the ones I learn and grow the most, it’s this thought that will keep me muddling on.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca