No Coin Required

I’ve been struggling with feelings of disappointment and let down that my body doesn’t seem quite able to or is finding it difficult to accomplish goals that my stubborn mind is determined to accomplish.  As I prepare for death race in two weeks, I’m finding that I can’t will my body to do what my mind says I want it to.  I left registration this year to the last minute allowing myself only a month till run day, not because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to run but for the simple fact of not sure if I should or could.  With only hours left to the close of registration I signed up feeling both excited and a little nervous.  In the past five years of being a part of this race I don’t think I’ve ever felt as prepared as I’ve wanted and hoped to be, this year even with more reservations.  As the date approaches very quickly I can’t help but feel more excitement than anything because of what this weekend has grown to mean to me.  The environment and the people I’m surrounded by continue to challenge, inspire and just plain pump a person up.  The August long weekend has turned into so much more than just a physical challenge and push, it has become an experience that speaks to every part of me. 

So what am I going to feel if this year I don’t cross the finish line in time?  I’ve thought a lot about this, about my intent when running.  What keeps me going back every year?  The measure of success is individual.  Some may think you need to cross the finish at a certain time and receive the medal at the end in order to consider your day/night a success.  I however belong to the second group.  The group that has learned that its more about the experience they gain and what they learn from it. Now don’t get me wrong the shiny coin in the end is nice but it doesn’t compare to the memories of majestic views, sounds, smells, conversations and true peace.  Each year I learn more about myself and about life. I add to the collection of moments and memories.  One can only laugh at the slimy mango story at Ambler Loop.  Or the graceful fall ended with a shoulder roll down a rock strewn hill that left a bloody leg on leg 1.  Or how about the bear met on the trail that pushed you to run just a little bit faster than ever in your life.  And then there are the brief but meaningful conversations had with the 73 year old race icon whose mere presence inspires you to the bone to what you want to be like when you grow up.  Along with the comradery along the trail to new friends met to the sharing of Advil and salt pills.  And who can forget the feeling of reaching that mountain peak only to look down with absolute amazement that your own two legs got you there and look at that view, truly indescribable.  All these moments I would not have traded, blisters, shin splints or upset stomach and all.  So this year I go whether taped in KT tape or duct tape with the intent of pushing myself physically but more than anything to add to the collection of moments so dear to me.  I don’t know what the end result of this day will be for me but I look forward to the new challenge and what the day and weekend has in store.

Alana Regier

 

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca