Tuesday night
rolled around and as 8:00pm closed in I found myself looking at my PJ’s on one
pile and my uniform neatly folded and ready to go on the other. How easy it would be to justify choosing
jammies saying to myself ‘next Tuesday’, knowing full well that I can find an
excuse to put something off once easily enough and that every time after it only
gets easier. With that in mind sparing
it was. For the week prior I hadn’t felt
any anxiety about the thought of sparing after such a long time that was until
I was on the floor. All of a sudden I
started to sweat, my mouth went dry, I started to feel paralysis in my legs,
okay maybe not paralysis, but definitely anxiety and trouble breathing and I
hadn’t even started anything yet. How is
it that a person can forget how to breathe?
Does the body not just automatically do it without me having to think
about it and constantly remind myself?
The truth is
that sparing has never been my absolute favorite thing to do and I have avoided
opportunities that would allow me the chance to overcome this. What better way to conquer a fear or to get
better at something than to meet it head on gloves a blazing, well not blazing
YET! What growth will come by running in
the opposite direction?
As I looked at
my fellow students Tuesday night I felt a calming. I have known most of these people in one
capacity or another for quite some time.
There truly wasn’t a safer or more controlled place to get in some much
needed rounds. I’d like to thank Sifu Sharida Csillag for answering my call for
girls and for the rest of the guys who were extremely patient and took it a
little easier on me. It was a great night and I can honestly say a great time!
Thank you again,
Alana Regier
http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca
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