Right vs Wrong

From the day they were born we have taught our kids right from wrong.  We have done our best to instill in them kindness, compassion, forgiveness, empathy, respect and love for others.  We have tried to lead by example but have fallen short on many occasions, however, these are the times we have tried to use as teachable moments and I hope all walked away having learnt valuable lessons.

We have had some major changes for schooling this year. Because of lack of room, the program Kayden is in was moved to another school. With the blending of different groups, challenges have arisen.  With this move, Kayden has found himself surrounded with new students, some who have a different view as to what is right and what is wrong.  In grade 9 the hormones are raging, boundaries are being tested and kids are trying to find out just where they fit. This is a time where many teenagers have been known to behave in less than desirable ways.  So as I hear and see the drama unfold I have caught myself this week telling Kayden to “just let it go” to some of the small things that fall in the undesirable category.  What I have forgotten is that these “small things” are the same things that he was taught as a little guy to be unacceptable.  Have I just erased the value in all we’ve taught that has helped build him into the wonderful young man is becoming?  Is there a fine line between tolerance and being a coward in not standing up for what you believe is right?  What behaviors fall into the category of “little things”?  Is accepting and turning our eyes to the “little things” just allowing the little things to become big things?  The answers to these questions are tough to find and vary depending on your perspective.  To say “ya I know it’s not right, but that is reality and you are just going to have to accept somethings sometimes” sucks as an answer. I will never be able to give an answer for every scenario my children will run into, and although they will not be able to rid the world COMPLETELY of injustice and evil, how they react does matter and will alter the outcome one way or the other. It is not always the yelling voice saying “you shouldn’t do this” that will make a positive difference, although it may get you a black eye.  Sometimes it’s the silent voice and the quiet actions that speak louder and have the biggest impact.  Just because we don’t speak up does not necessarily mean we accept and condone the words people say or the way they behave, sometimes it’s just not the time or the battle. It’s not necessarily a matter of being weak or scared when choosing silence but rather using our better judgement from what we have been taught and what we have learnt from experience that helps us differentiate when to speak up and when to shut up. If speaking up holds no positive purpose, maybe there is another way!

Alana Regier

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