A Kung Fu Family

I have had quite a bizarre last couple of weeks.  I have, in my training, gone from low to high in a matter of days, and find myself trying to figure out how.  I had my battle with the boards which left me with the feeling of defeat and then a week later I had this incredible change of attitude and feeling that I can’t explain.  I expect and am familiar with the anxious, worrying feeling, however, this calm and at peace girl, I didn’t recognize.  I hope she decides to stay! 

After leaving the demo last Saturday with unbroken boards in my bag, I spent two days preparing for Monday.  These two days were without anxiety and dread; I was even able to get two good night sleeps without dreaming about boards out to get me (and yes, some of the boards did have legs).    I enjoyed my time with my family without feeling distracted by thinking about what went wrong at the demo.  After kids were in bed Saturday and Sunday, and on Monday after they left to school I gave my attention to focusing on what went wrong and what I was going to do to fix it.  When Monday evening came around I saw only boards.  I felt calm and determined (only a little shaky).  What a difference a change in mind set can make.

I have over the last 6 years heard ‘kung fu family’ mentioned repeatedly.  I can’t honestly say I fully understood that until this last week.  Saturday, when I walked away with two of my boards still in one piece, I was congratulated on the ones that I did break.  When Monday rolled around and all four boards broke, there were genuine smiles and congrats from everyone, even a few texts and emails that night, just like a family!   I feel very privileged to be a part of such a group of people. Because we are all here with similar goals, we can truly understand the significance of an achievement like this for a fellow student.  Thanks everyone!

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

Preparing For Round Two

This morning started off early.  Off to hockey, rush to the kwoon, off to the library, back to the kwoon for a meeting, shopping for Christmas boxes, stop at the pet store (came back with two fish, don’t know how that happened) and then back home to spend the evening with my boys.  As exhausted as I feel, somehow I haven’t been able to fall asleep, so here I write.

Today I made my first attempt publically to break my boards at the demo at the library.  I was not successful.  The weird thing is, I’m not feeling the same defeat and frustration I felt, this time last week. All afternoon and evening I have been thinking about a comment that Sifu Brinker made at todays I Ho Chuan meeting.  He was talking about the importance of a public journal, especially making our failures public.  Ouch!  For someone who isn’t a fan of getting up in front of people anyway, being up front for everyone to see me fail was kind of hard to swallow (especially knowing there was evidence on tape).  This comment really stuck with me all day.   Its so much safer to fail in private.  If we never take a risk, we won’t get past those things that stand in our way.  If we let the fear of failure keep us from trying things or believe that we have to trudge along on our own, how is anyone ever supposed to know when or where we may need help?  Yes this is our own personal journey; however, we are fortunate to belong to a school of encouraging and empathetic fellow students and instructors who are there to help when we hit road blocks.  I have experienced this firsthand the last week.  I had to bottom out before I was willing to admit where I was, but when I did I was met with encouragement and advice, and I thank everyone for that. 

Some people may see reaching out as a sign of weakness, but I disagree.  I think it takes honesty and true strength to admit that things aren’t great, that we are struggling and that we need help.  I have also come to the conclusion that it is what we choose to do with those ‘failures’ that determines whether they truly are a failure or just an opportunity to try again and to grow in the process.

So here I am with the ‘opportunity’ to try again.  I will probably watch the video over and over to see what went wrong and what I can change to make my next time a success.  I am still disappointed but I have to admit I have learned a lot from this.  I have discovered that yes, I can break a board and that no, it doesn’t have to hurt.  I have learned that I can’t and am not willing to give up.  I have learned that I can’t let a failure in one thing take over the successes I may have in other things.  Isn't it through our mistakes and failures we sometimes learn the most?  So I prepare for round two!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

The Feeling of Defeat

This last week for me has been a struggle.  I have been trying to prepare for and was hoping to complete my board breaking requirement at Saturdays demo.   I have spent an awful lot of time working on shields and in the air, trying to come up with combinations that feel good and will be successful for me.   Last week in our 5:00am practice I thought it was time to try a real board.  I felt I needed the confidence that I could do it and that if it went well, Saturday during the demo, breaking would be a breeze.  It didn’t work out as I planned.  Monday, I got through the board, but my knuckle didn’t fare so well.  Thursday morning came around and I thought, let’s try again with the other side of my hand and a different strike.  Needless to say, that went worse yet.  My first strike I tried to power through without technique.  The second strike was great, went through like butter, however, by then my entire hand started swelling almost immediately from the first unsuccessful attempt. 

As I headed home after practice I felt this huge disappointment and frustration.  I have been anxious and sidetracked with a feeling of defeat.  I want so bad to break those suckers and carry on but now I have hit a huge wall mentally.  This last week I have felt deflated and felt some of the “passion, vigor and vitality” sucked out of me.   

As I have thought back over the last six years, I have had high points and low points.  There are just those days when things go well and you feel like you’re on fire, and then there are the other ones, where you feel like throwing yourself in a fire.  One of my great lows was an absolute fear of sparring.  The two most frightening words I could hear were “gear up.” I had come to a point where I even had contemplated quitting kung fu (crazy words).   What bothered me so much was the fact that I loved kung fu and I really wasn’t prepared to throw in the towel.  So with many, many hours spent in our garage with my very patient husband and brother, I worked through it.  Today I have come to really enjoy and look forward to sparring. 

Like my sparring dilemma, I need to have a change in attitude.  This is important to me and not something I’m willing to give up on.  I am not going to say “I can’t” but rather “I haven’t YET.”  This is going to be a better week, bring on the boards!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

The Journey

At the beginning of this I Ho Chuan year, I thought I had an advantage with both Darcy and I being on the team together.  First off I thought how great is this that we will be going through everything together and at the same time, we’ll be so on the same page.  With this being my first year in I Ho Chuan (never on the UBBT) I didn’t fully know what to expect and forgot the whole individual journey stuff.  I have learned so much this last year and realized how off I was in my thinking.  Darcy and I both have our own individual list of challenges.  We both have different ideas how to accomplish what we have set out to do.  We definitely have different schedules, his with A LOT less time than mine.  We both have our own individual perspective on things.  However, even though we are on our own path, we still are both working toward mastery in many different areas of our lives and are there for one another to help where we can.

 These days I seem to be trying so hard to juggle time in order to get everyone where they need to be. I’m trying to spend the time I need training and at the same time not take away from anyone else in my family.  With our kids 15 and 10 years old, some people might argue that they are old enough to stay at home on their own for long lengths of time.  Well I disagree.  I know legally they are fine and I trust they won’t burn down the house deliberately, but I believe they still need and want their parents around (even though they may not admit it).  In the world today our kids are dealing with many more pressures than I remember at their age.  They are expected to and are trying to grow up too fast.   I feel privileged when my kids choose spending time with their family over going out with friends.    I know it’s not always going to be like this; already the times are getting less, so I will enjoy it while I can.

So here we are with four people in our house, all having to go in different directions all on the same night.  This has had its own list of challenges.  With Darcy out of town it seems to get complicated even a little more. I am so fortunate to have family and friends, who without a second thought, are there in a heartbeat.  Sometimes I think they may have been there all along just waiting to be asked.  I have to thank Darcy, who has on days off, driven kids or stayed at home with kids so I could attend classes and demo practices. Thanks Darc.  I know for him it’s an even tougher spot to be in, as he has missed so many classes and wants to be there and at the same time has missed his family and needs to be there as well. 

 I know balance is the key, and we are definitely working on it continually; changing it as circumstances in our life change.   

Alana Regier                 

 http:// alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

 

I'm Thankful For...

Last weekend our family took off to the mountains for a few days.  Even though we saw the forecast of white and cooler temperatures, we were troopers.  What started out as a ‘I’m not sure we aren’t going to freeze’ idea turned into an absolutely wonderful and relaxing weekend.

The mountains, for our entire family, is a place not only that we all crave to go to but one that relaxes and rejuvenates us.  The further west we went on Friday morning the more snow we saw along the roadside.  When we got to our destination we were snow free with the sun shining.  The entire weekend I was in absolute awe of the blessings and the opportunities I have.  Looking around at my family and the incredible mountain scenery, I couldn’t help but think how we can so easily take for granted everything that God has given us.  As our family sat around the fire having our thanksgiving barbequed salmon (didn’t want to use all the propane on a turkey, might need that for heat at night), we got in the discussion of what we are thankful for.  We live in a fast paced world.  Not enough time is given to truly relaxing and appreciating, but when you sit back and truly think about what we are so fortunate to have how can a person not just say WOW! 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

I Ho Chuan Benefits

In the beginning of the year, as I looked at the list of requirements I saw them as that, a list.  I felt overwhelmed and hadn’t really taken the time to think about what the purpose was for each one.  It wasn’t until I started working to meet them that I looked closer and saw that they were picked very deliberately, each with its own purpose, to help us advance in our training and to help better us as individuals. These challenges, both the ‘listed’ and those I chose for myself, were no longer just a list written on paper but rather requirements and challenges that were important to me and that I was going to be held accountable for by an entire team of people. 

The one’ listed’ requirement that has benefited me hugely, is the logging.  It has made me AWARE in black and white.  Logging of sit ups, push ups, km’s, random acts of kindness, diet log, numbers for sparring and repetitions of forms has all helped make me aware of what I am doing and of exactly how engaged I am.  I look at the numbers and what seemed like an impossible number to meet at the beginning of the year, is now a number I’m trying to see if I can beat.  I can see where I am doing well and where I need to pull up my socks.   The benefit of this requirement to me is awareness, motivation and accountability.  Logging has helped me to keep on track towards the goals I have set out for myself and helped me to move forward, sometimes the long way (1 step forward, 2 back). 

As for personal challenges, those I chose with the focus being on what was important to me in my life.    In some way they were all related to bettering my relationships.  I have found that the mending a relationship requirement for I Ho Chuan, complimented my own personal challenges.  I had a hard time in choosing a relationship to mend.  After a lot of thought, the one I chose happened to better all other relationships in my life as well as keep me sane and mentally at peace. 

I can see the value in each and every requirement.  Looking back over the year so far is encouraging to me, to see how much positive change and growth there has been (a lot not visisble on the outside).  The challenges I chose at the beginning have been altered a little here or there, or new ones added as circumstances have changed in life but always with the movement being forward.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 Sorry for not posting this last week before heading out of town!  Out of service area.