About three and a half months ago, at the start of this journey, I was stumped as to what relationship in my life I should choose to focus on mending. I haven’t had major falling outs with anyone, but rather ones I have lost in the business of life. As people get busy, move away or just grow and change, relationships can get distant.
At the same time as I was going through my list of people who I have grown apart from or those who I would like to better my relationship with, I was memorizing ‘ Mastery’ by Stuart Emery. What kept standing out for me in that memorization was how who and what we decide to surround ourselves with help determine who we become. “Try surrounding yourself with friends who ask more of you than you do.” This phrase kept coming to me as I looked at my list and realized that some of the people on it, although I care about them, were probably not the best for me to hang around with in order to become who I want to be, where I want to go and the difference I want to make. Some relationships are best kept in the past or allowed a little distance.
Two weeks ago at my son’s track and field, I happened to run into a person from 20 years in my past. Twenty years ago I hurt this person, not intentionally, but hurt none the less. If we would have run into each other a couple of years ago, I probably would have hid behind the closest tree or tried to lose myself in the crowd because I felt bad and wanted to avoid feeling uncomfortable. However, I chose not to go that route. Instead I went right up to talk to them. I was given the chance again to truly apologize. This person kind of laughed and couldn’t believe that I still worry about that sh..! (Their words not mine). In the end this person thanked me and said my words were appreciated. This wasn’t the relationship I had chosen to mend, but one that circumstances presented me. I left the school that day feeling happy, first of all because I was given the opportunity and second because I actually took advantage of it. I don't want to just work on one relationship because it is a requirement. I want to seek out opportunities continually to better all the relationships I have been blessed with, and to look for ways to right ones where I have done wrong.
As for the relationship I have specifically chosen, it was one that needed attention. It is one that is close and important to me. This requirement for I Ho Chuan, has proven to be incredible for me. It is one that has had a very positive impact on my training. It has changed where I am mentally and has put me in a better place to tackle what I have set out to do. Days like two weeks ago are an encouragement for me that I have grown and changed and moving in a better direction to be the person I really want to be. We can’t change our past but we certainly can learn from it and make better choices today!
Alana Regier
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