Tiger Challenge Fears

With the Tiger Challenge approaching fast I catch myself remembering the first tournament I actually participated in.  I am embarrassed to say it took me till blue belt to build up the courage to submit the entry form and more than a few sleepless nights after that.  I wish I could say I had finally built up the confidence and guts on my own; however that is not totally the truth.  It was actually my oldest son who lit the fire.  After many years participating himself, he told me right out that I wasn’t signing up why should he?  What is a mother to do?  So that was it, we signed up for a team form and before I knew it I was in 3 additional divisions and my mind was changed as to where I wanted to go in my training.

This single action was the turning point for my Kung Fu.  I can say with confidence, out loud and with true belief that there is extreme value in stepping up and taking advantage of opportunities like the Tiger Challenge.  These are the decisions that can turn the direction of or push you to achieve goals that otherwise would never materialize. I can’t say that it is now easy to get up and compete, actually in some ways it seems harder.  So with only 5 sleeps away I am feeling disappointed that I may not be able to participate this year for the simple fact that I realize the value in it.  I will be there all day cheering you all on wishing I was on the mats with you.  I encourage everyone to jump on this opportunity and don’t wait till blue belt.  There is so much to learn in a safe and fun environment.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

Right vs Wrong

From the day they were born we have taught our kids right from wrong.  We have done our best to instill in them kindness, compassion, forgiveness, empathy, respect and love for others.  We have tried to lead by example but have fallen short on many occasions, however, these are the times we have tried to use as teachable moments and I hope all walked away having learnt valuable lessons.

We have had some major changes for schooling this year. Because of lack of room, the program Kayden is in was moved to another school. With the blending of different groups, challenges have arisen.  With this move, Kayden has found himself surrounded with new students, some who have a different view as to what is right and what is wrong.  In grade 9 the hormones are raging, boundaries are being tested and kids are trying to find out just where they fit. This is a time where many teenagers have been known to behave in less than desirable ways.  So as I hear and see the drama unfold I have caught myself this week telling Kayden to “just let it go” to some of the small things that fall in the undesirable category.  What I have forgotten is that these “small things” are the same things that he was taught as a little guy to be unacceptable.  Have I just erased the value in all we’ve taught that has helped build him into the wonderful young man is becoming?  Is there a fine line between tolerance and being a coward in not standing up for what you believe is right?  What behaviors fall into the category of “little things”?  Is accepting and turning our eyes to the “little things” just allowing the little things to become big things?  The answers to these questions are tough to find and vary depending on your perspective.  To say “ya I know it’s not right, but that is reality and you are just going to have to accept somethings sometimes” sucks as an answer. I will never be able to give an answer for every scenario my children will run into, and although they will not be able to rid the world COMPLETELY of injustice and evil, how they react does matter and will alter the outcome one way or the other. It is not always the yelling voice saying “you shouldn’t do this” that will make a positive difference, although it may get you a black eye.  Sometimes it’s the silent voice and the quiet actions that speak louder and have the biggest impact.  Just because we don’t speak up does not necessarily mean we accept and condone the words people say or the way they behave, sometimes it’s just not the time or the battle. It’s not necessarily a matter of being weak or scared when choosing silence but rather using our better judgement from what we have been taught and what we have learnt from experience that helps us differentiate when to speak up and when to shut up. If speaking up holds no positive purpose, maybe there is another way!

Alana Regier

http:/alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

End of the Season

I have now just finished my season/contract with the County of Parkland, Agriculture Division.  Since May I have been fortunate to be part of a team who truly does believe in making both positive examples and differences in our community and beyond.  It has been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to work with a group of people who are health conscious (not too many donuts around this office) as well as environmentally conscious.  To end my season I was privileged to be a part of the City Slickers program offered through the Multicultural Center in Stony Plain.  This is a program that brings between 1200-1500 grades 4&5 students out to the farm.  The program is designed to teach students where their food comes from, to hear from farmers themselves as to how they take care of their land, animals and the environment in order to produce safe food and to listen to different groups and businesses involved in the processes of growing our food while at the same time being aware of the importance of conserving our environment.  

Our display and presentation was based on the importance of soil and how valuable and vital it is to our life. It was so hard to narrow the presentation to 20 minutes; there was just so much to share with these kids.  I completely enjoyed brainstorming and preparing for this event.  We had put together everything from posters, soil profiles, buckets of different soil textures complete with fake bugs to profile frames showing root developments and even a display with worms. As Friday came closer I found the thought of making approximately 10 presentations to different groups of students freaked me out more than a little. First off I don’t get extremely excited about presenting anything in front of groups of people and second, I had the idea that children who have been cooped up in the city, school and then the bus may just go a little crazy in the fresh farm air (or run around with their noses plugged as some did).  I’d be lying if the thought of calling in sick didn’t cross my mind or the hope that maybe a tornado would come and just take away my part of the presentation.  However I found myself saying over and over again “this will be good for you, this will be good for you” (thanks I Ho Chuan).  Not only was it good, it was great!  I found the more engaged I could get the kids, the more excited and passionate I became.  Yes there were the kids that I would see playing with the fake bugs in my soil piles who seemed to have tuned me out and then there were those absolutely bright whipper snappers (I know, old persons term, my grandma is laughing at me right now) who always seemed a step ahead and challenged me with questions and their ideas, it was fantastic!  And of those kids who seemed more intrigued by the fake bugs, I discovered they were paying attention all along just learned a little differently than the rest of the class.  And as for the kids going crazy on fresh farm air, I couldn’t be more wrong.  These kids were so eager to learn and take in the day that they behaved with respect and gratitude.  It was a pleasure to spend the day with them.

I am grateful for the opportunity to have been a part of this day, grateful for the I Ho Chuan words “this will be good for you” in my ear and grateful that there were no tornados taking away my soil buckets and fake bugs!  A great way to end the season of a great job!

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

Perhaps a Little Cranky

First off I need to apologize to the team for my lack of blogging lately.  I have no good excuse.  Yes life has been busy and unpredictable and yes I have been having technological difficulties with my google plus and yes I have been a little grumpy and frustrated, but none of that excuses my lack of publicly blogging.  I have sat down to blog every week but have only left the computer with a half a dozen almost finished blogs, with none of them feeling ready to publish.  So where am I and what am I doing?  Well to answer that is tough.  I have for the last 4 months been having some nerve issues in my arms. The last couple of months have only found things to get worse.  I have limited feeling in my arms during the day and I dread the nights more than anything.  Almost 2 hours after going to bed every night I am woken up with what starts as numbness, moving to tingling and then going to shooting pains that have me in tears.  And the night continues like this. To be honest I am completely exhausted, frustrated and tired and having my own little pity party. The last week has been exceptionally bad and I have found myself getting up at 4:00am just to avoid being rudely woken up again.  On a plus note, I have discovered that while all other normal people are still asleep, my dear friend in Australia is awake!   Thanks Darlene! I have exhausted all the chiropractors, massage, accupucture, ice and sleeping with braces to find no relief.  The lack of sleep is making concentration and thought processing difficult not to mention my body more susceptible to other injuries (with my good knee now tweaked).  As of last week, out of complete desperation, I have gone to see my doctor.  I know I should have done that sooner but I am stubborn (it runs in the family) and have had a hard time finding the time to make that happen (another bad excuse).  So I find myself now waiting for EMG (I think those are the right letters) and MRI appointments to find out just exactly what I’m dealing with.  Carpal Tunnel seems to be what is suspected and to the point where surgery is the next step.  Great, 6 weeks of down time, just what I need to get further behind.  With this unreliable grip I have I find myself concentrating and trying so hard to make sure I don’t lose my escrimas.  I am leery of being too close to the mirrors and worse yet to people. If anyone sees my lips moving during demo practice it’s me telling myself repeatedly “hold onto these sticks, hold onto these sticks!” 

Now after spitting that all out and hearing the voices from our last meeting, I am trying to make every effort to continue forward in my training.  I’m not going to lie, I’m finding it hard.  Going to classes with the mindset that I will listen to my body and progress wisely isn’t going so well.  I find there is a special kind of air in the kwoon that makes it hard to feel some injuries until either they are really bad or until I get out to my car.  Sitting on the bench I know I learn tons but it’s hard to sit when you want to do, I got to work on this.  I am still logging my numbers, pushups and plank have taken a kicking (sorry Sifu Csillag on the plank) but I am still on the sit ups, leg lifts, bridge and reaches and kms.   I have learnt the importance of rest for the body and the mind.  I realize all too well that the body can not function to full potential without proper rest and that injuries need to be acknowledged and maybe taken care of at an earlier date (not 4 months later).  I guess right now I have to work more on the mental part. I need to get past the frustration, disappointment and the ‘poor me’ attitude.  I’m working on this, please be patient. I have experienced that injuries can be good for my growth and that they can provide opportunities to learn and excel in other areas but this go around I’m having a harder time seeing that, maybe it’s the lack of sleep that is making this seem impossible.  So I am taking things day by day, still with longer term goals in mind.  I am grateful for the odd nights of more than 4 hours of sleep and that my family has not kicked me out of the house yet because of cantankerousness!

Alana Regier

http:/alanaregier.blogspot.ca

Power in Numbers

As King Solomon, who many historians consider the wisest man to ever live wrote “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; if one falls down, another can help the other up.”  Ecclessiates 4:9-10

A common theme at the last meeting was the importance of the teams support.  Although it ultimately is our own choices that will determine what we accomplish and where we end up, I believe there is definitely power in numbers and for me it confirms the importance of a team such as the I Ho Chuan.  We all stumble, hit walls, grow tired, have circumstances that discourage and drag us down. These times can be very lonely and without people around us to support, encourage and kick our butts when needed, many will have the tendency to call it quits.  However, if we are surrounded by likeminded people who know and have an understanding of where we want to be and what we want to accomplish, we can be encouraged, pushed, motivated and helped up.  To me this reiterates the importance of building the relationships we do at Silent River as well as the importance of blogging openly, honestly and with purpose.  I have been on the receiving end of the support and help from both the I Ho Chuan team and the Silent River family over the years and understand firsthand the importance and difference it can make.  My success will not only be determined by me alone but by those I choose to surround myself with.  It is the impact that these relationships have that confirm the importance of not only watching out for fellow team mates but realizing that we each have a team to turn to when we need help. 

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

Alana Regier

Body Taking a Kicking

The last couple of months have found more downs than ups with moments of my numbers taking a kicking.  I’ve been dealing with a couple of issues lately but it was most recently my back that was impossible to ignore, hindering everything I tried to do.  I have very reluctantly found myself realizing that I’m going to have to start doing things a little different than I have in the past.  Up to this point my jobs have always depended on me being physically able, which honestly I have really enjoyed.  Unfortunately I have found many things getting a little harder than they seemed a few years ago.  I find myself feeling a little humbled, frustrated and a little scared.  Finding myself in this place I believe I need to start focusing on doing things with sustainability and longevity in mind.  As life changes I need to adapt, not give up but adapt.  To rely on one facet or one area of strength is dangerous.  What happens when that strength is threatened or out of operation all together?  Age, injury, illness or circumstances can change things in a heartbeat.  So this puts me in a position of having to dig a little deeper in developing and strengthening in some other areas of my life.  At this moment I don’t exactly know what that looks like for me.  I just know that I have to face the facts that some things are going to have to change and I am going to have to stop resisting that fact. 

For my kung fu right now I’m feeling behind.  Every class I miss, every demo I can’t participate in, every form that has to be modified or every day my numbers aren’t where I want them is tough to swallow.  However with that being said I find myself learning other lessons about myself, about others, about life.  Not all these lessons are easy or even fun and many are hard to admit, but they are there waiting to be acknowledged and worked on.  So in a time that seems to be one of great instability, I find myself feeling a little frazzled and searching.   These are the moments I truly hope will be the ones I learn and grow the most, it’s this thought that will keep me muddling on.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

Control Freak

Yesterday turned out to be a little more enlightening than I had expected.  When the opportunity of attending the Horsemanship seminar was first posted I was one of the first to sign up.  The prospect of spending a day in an environment with horses, horse smells and surroundings that would bring back a flood of great memories was too much to pass up.  Little did I realize exactly just how much I would learn and take away from the day.

When we first arrived we were seated under a cozy gazebo surrounded by a beautiful garden, water fall, pond and the great outdoors. Amongst this a table with fresh desserts, fruit and the best biscuits I have ever eaten.  We began our afternoon by going over a few famous quotes, each of us picking out the one that spoke directly to us, giving everyone an idea of why we were there, our goals for the day and our comfort level with these incredibly sensitive, intelligent and magnificent animals.  My initial goal for the day was truly very simple, it was to spend a day in a relaxing environment, a day away from the ‘to do list’ and time spent outside the kwoon getting to better know a few of my fellow training mates.  Instead I learnt more about myself and a few of the many things I need to work on.   I needed perhaps an entire week spent at the end of a lead shank.   I found out I wasn’t able to run from a regular hectic Saturday morning and just jump into relax mode.  I found out I have more control issues than I would like to admit and may just be missing out on some of the more minute details (but maybe the most important) in many moments of life because of being in a rush to get to the end product.  In my horse picked for the day I met my match.  Nugget didn’t just go through the motions easily and out of routine but rather challenged me.  I looked at him; he looked at me, closed his eyes as he wished me good luck as he stood his ground.   He didn’t respond to the ‘me’ trying to take control and pull 750lbs on the other end of the lead to get the task done and move on to what’s next.  He had no use for the let’s get moving and we can squeeze even more into the afternoon attitude.  Rather he waited for me to breathe, be in the moment, move with intention and purpose and together work to get us to where we were to go.  

Then came the partner work where once again I found I had to work WITH my partner. I was blind folded leading Nugget while listening to my partner give me instructions as to how to avoid the obstacles on my way down the arena to retrieve the flag and get back safely.  I will be honest, it was hard to stay focused on my partners voice while all around me I could hear others giving instructions to their partners.  I felt I had no control, had to rely on another and was trying to do all this while in an environment full of distractions, all the time fighting the urge to lift the corner of the blindfold.  Trusting can be hard, even when it’s your own son who I hope wasn’t trying to run me into a fence or trip over the rail, although I’m sure it would make him giggle!

In the change of routine in life recently I have found that the roles I once filled and were responsible for are hard to give up and let go.  It is not for the sake that I want to do them myself because I truly do appreciate, need and want the help; it’s just that for so long I controlled them and it was my ‘job’ (as stupid as that may sound).  Others in my life, like Nugget, won’t always or maybe never, respond well with me pulling on the lead fighting for control. I need to hand over the reins on things at times and trust that others are quite capable to do as good of or better job than me.  Once again I am being shown that one person cannot accomplish what working together with others can and that working together and trusting one another makes the end result so much sweeter with many lessons learnt along the way. 

A huge thank you again to Mr. McKee, it was an absolutely wonderful day, rain, lightening, hail and all!

Alana Regier                               

  http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca