How Do People See You?

A couple of weeks ago I was at a funeral for a neighbor.  I never had met her, but did know her husband.  She had been suffering from health issues since we moved to the neighborhood, and kept to herself in the house.  During the service a few friends got up to speak of memories they had and it got me thinking, how would people remember me?  How do people see me?

In the last week I have been in the process of getting personal character references from people who have known me for quite some time; both the good sides and the not so good (we all have them).    When I read what these friends had written, I was touched.  Moments were remembered that I hadn’t thought of in a long time and then there were things that I truly did not see as significant or out of the ordinary; but they mattered to someone.  It’s a good reminder that everything we do and say has an effect on someone and it’s up to us as to what that will be.

I found it funny how character traits that are seen as quality traits, vary from person to person.    From one person, they saw strength with something to do with a small engine.  For another, it was related to relationships with family and friends.  Guess which one was the girl answer and which the boy answer. 

I have to be honest and say that I feel like I haven’t always been the mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend that I want to be or could be.   We are always our own worst critics.   We all have a tendency to get busy and caught up in life.  The thought that ‘I’ll call them later’ or ‘I should stop by to see…’ , gets lost as there are not enough hours in the day.  When I think of all the opportunities I am given on a daily basis to make a difference for someone, I’m grateful and only hope that I will take advantage of every opportunity to make a positive difference for someone.  I have been made aware that everything I do, no matter how small it may seem to me, has the potential to matter greatly to someone else.

 

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca

 

A Big Decision

I have found myself in a really weird and somewhat confused place the last three weeks.   Here we are with only nine days left till I must make the decision whether or not to grade this year.  As I have seen potential candidates make the very hard decision that this is not their year to grade, I have started questioning myself.  If they don’t believe they’re ready, how in the world do I think that I can be? 

I have been thinking of little else the last week, trying to figure out, how does a person know when they are ready for something like this?  As of tonight I still haven’t got the answer to this.  The last couple of days I have been reflecting on the last 8 months.  I have looked at my numbers, I have gone over my list of requirements, I have reviewed what I chose for personal challenges this year and  I have to say that I see this year as a success in that respect .  If anyone would have told me that at almost 40 years old I would be doing what I have the last year, I would have laughed at them and thought they were off their rocker.  Having to come up with a list of personal challenges and then be held accountable for completing them has been an amazing motivation for me to do things I always wanted to but didn’t have the courage to.  Logging pushups, situps, km’s, diet, etc.  has proven to myself that first it is possible and second has been a push to see if I could do better.

I have rediscovered the fact that this is an independent journey.  It is a decision that one must make for themselves and not make it dependant on what other people decide.  We may train together and encourage and help each other, but in the end it is only ourselves that can truly decide where we are mentally and make the choice of where we want to be.  I have gone over and over convincing myself that next year would be better.  It would give me more time to prepare, maybe life will slow down (now that one is a laugh), and maybe my knees and shoulder will be in better shape. . . . . . .blah blah blah.  What I have realized is that first off my life will not slow down.  The older I get and the more I use my knees and shoulders are they really going to feel better?  As for more time, well I believe the more time we have, the more we try to fill it with.   

I am finding this such a hard decision for the fact that because it is important to me, I don’t want to make the wrong one.   Well the clock says 12:11am, now only 8 days left!

Alana Regier

Back From Grande Cache

We got back from Grande Cache Monday evening.  What an absolutely incredible weekend!  Not only did I accomplish one of my challenges for this year, I really had FUN!   I didn’t make any record times, but I was happy with 2hours and 10 minutes.  I learnt that 19km on town paths is not the same as 19km up and down rocky slopes or running through swamp; its way more fun.  Next year I’m going to beat that time or better yet try a different leg!

Three of the biggest advantages I had:

1)      Family and friends encouraging me

2)      Having learnt how to breath in Kung Fu (thank you, oxygen is always good!)

3)      Many years of quading through bogs and swamps, you learn to pick routes that are safer, faster and even cleaner!

 Every person running had their own reasons.   For some, it was for bragging rights of saying “I ran the DEATH race!”  For others it was a personal challenge that they had for themselves.  For a few, it might have even been on a dare from friends (probably these are the ones running in jeans or fleece PJ’s).   I found it interesting to see how there seemed to be 2 types of people:  Those that it was all about them; these people were totally focused on the finish line, but missed the steps in getting there.  Then there were the others, who had concern and words for others along the way.   These were the people who I think got the most out of what they were doing.  They actually enjoyed the steps in between, the steps that got them to the finish line.   It was uplifting to see the people who would stop to see if the person laying on the ground in front of them was ok, if the lady doubled over with cramps needed a salt pill, if the guy beside looked like he was ready to quit and just needed that word of encouragement or the ones who just stopped for a moment to take in the view.

Our teams goal was to challenge ourselves but at the same time to appreciate the journey.  I can honestly say I have never been an enjoyer of running.  However this weekend, in this place, with these people I had a blast and ran with a smile on my face.   Although it was a personal challenge for me, it was very much a team effort.  This was a wonderful example of what working together and having others behind you can do.  This isn’t something I would have done well or even enjoyed on my own.  As each team member came into the end of their leg, the entire team (along with other family and friends) were there to meet them and to cheer them on.  I was excited and proud for each member as they accomplished what they had set out to do.  I was reminded that the encouragement, push and support from people around can help anyone move mountains, or at least run up one!

Alana Regier

My Worst Enemy

FATIGUE!  In the last 6 months, I can count on one hand, how many decent night sleeps I’ve had.    I’m finding it is having an impact on most everything I do, especially my training.  I’m scared to sit down with fears that I may not get back up again.  I am a person who enjoys always doing something, not  sitting around watching the grass grow.  However, somehow there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish what I have on my list or the energy to do so.  I can feel the fatigue in my joints and muscles, my memory, my mental alertness and lack of motivation.  Last Thursday night I went for my MRI on my knee, and even with the muffled sound of a jack hammer by my head, I actually fell asleep!    Today as I was painting the deck and was sitting down to reach low stuff, I could have fallen asleep in the paint tray, I was so tired.  I really need to figure this out.

So now I am trying to do what I can to wind down before hitting the hay.  I can’t say I have been very successful yet.  Here’s to hoping for a good night sleep tonight!

Alana Regier

Our Bags Are Packed!

Just a week to go and we are off to Grand Cache!  This week I have been going over the list of mandatory equipment to have and that which is recommended.  Our packs are getting full.  Duct tape on the recommended list didn’t surprise me, being there is nothing it can’t fix, however Vaseline, not sure about that one????  As nervous and a little anxious as I feel, I am definitely more excited than anything.  We have a great team and are going with the purpose of not only meeting a challenge, but one of having fun and enjoying the ride (or the run in this case).  

This upcoming week I am probably going to have to take it a little easy, as to not aggravate my knee.  I’m going to need it! 

Alana Regier

A Common Theme

The last few blogs posted seem to have a common theme about them.  They speak honestly of where people are in their life and the difficulty and challenges people are facing to meet their requirements and commitments.  I don’t believe that for anyone, being a part of the I Ho Chuan  team, is a walk in the park and life is rosy all the time.  We all face setbacks and discouraging moments.   Being honest with ourselves as well as with fellow team mates is the only way to change discouragement to something positive.  I listen to everyone in the monthly meetings openly tell the struggles they face and I find I can relate to everyone on some level.   It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one feeling bogged down, falling behind or struggling with feelings of disappointment and discouragement.

We are our own worst critics.   We have high expectations for ourselves and are disappointed when we don’t meet them.   We have all chosen challenges that are just that, challenges; they aren’t supposed to be easily accomplished.  We forget that life has a way of throwing obstacles that make us go off course and maybe fall a little behind of where we think we should be.  However, like has been said, when a person looks back to the beginning of the year and looks at the numbers add up in their log or sees personal challenges met or positive changes taking place in their relationships, how can we ever say that we failed? 

At the beginning of the year, my first couple of months were brutal.  I admit I was guilty of neglecting some of my other commitments, thinking that I had to put everything I had into my kung fu alone.  I wasn’t sure how to juggle everything and thought I had to pick one thing over the other.    It was in spending time on my personal challenges that I woke up.  I realized that if I neglect other parts of my life and only focus on kung fu alone, in the end, what have I truly accomplished

 Right now, I feel immense relief that I’m not neglecting the things that are truly important in my life and feel an incredible peace.   I am enjoying where I am and what I’m doing.   I have missed the demo and a meeting or class here or there, and have felt guilt every time.   I have had to accept that sometimes there are other places I have needed to be.  I am still totally engaged and determined.  I have set my goals and am going to do all that I can to accomplish them.   I’m not sure where I’ll be come fall, but I do know that I will be closer to my goal than I was at the beginning of the year.  I still have struggles continually, but I have found that I have been handling them differently than a few months ago.   Taking things day by day, step by step, trying to move progressively forward in the process.

Thanks to everyone who has been so honest and open to where they are and how they are feeling.  Sticking together and encouraging each other is a whole lot easier when you know more about your fellow team mates.

Alana Regier

http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca/

Back from Holidays

 Although I left for holidays with the best intentions of being on the ball with my training, I fell short of all I wanted to do.  I still kept engaged with my sit ups and push ups, and kept racking up the kilometers.  Darcy and I found a 5 km nature trail that we took at least once a day.  Because the mosquitoes were so bad, we were forced to run most of the way; good training but not so fun in such hot temperatures.   We spent a lot of time at the ball diamonds, miniature golfing and of course fishing.  I practiced doing little pieces of forms in the lake, but was told by the kids that I was “kind of embarrassing them.”  So I changed it up and sat on the beach visualizing the moves as I watched the kids try to drown each other (good way to relax and not work up a sweat at 32 degrees above; very cool). 

The week and a half was a great time, with the highlight for me, being that our youngest son finally caught his first fish.  He has come home empty handed every time, but this week he pulled in more than his share.  The look of excitement on his face was a total Kodak moment.  He caught the first fish of the day, in less than an hour on the lake.  Totally awesome!

So after some rest and relaxing, it is time to get back to some sort of routine.  I am starting to feel a little anxious as I look at the calendar and realize that we are already well into July.   Our race day is coming up in just under 3 weeks and September is coming up fast.  So much to do!

Alana Regier