I have found
myself in a spot of what I first viewed as a lack of motivation, however,
looking at it closer I discovered it has come down to more of a problem of a
shortage of time to get done all I want to and a bit of a struggle with
prioritizing what I really need to and want to do in order to sleep better at
night. For many people a little chaos in
their surroundings isn’t a big deal and does not leave them sleepless at night
but for others of us, being able to watch our childrens soccer game or crew our
other child in his race, cut the grass, weed the flower beds (with a headlamp
if required), walk the dog, clean the house, oh ya and work etc etc etc. has to
be done in order to have our minds and bodies at peace.
With winter
hibernation at an end and the added stuff the season brings, my balancing act
feels to be falling apart. My day starts
early and I go go go all day and at the end find there are just not enough
hours no matter how hard I try, plan and schedule. In the end I feel like I have been rushing
and not getting what I truly should out of some things and not completing
others with the quality I want. No
matter how much I tried to foresee what would be reasonable but yet challenging
goals for my year, I cannot help but feel like I have bit off more than I can
chew. To say it plain and simple, I’m
not doing well with my goals and feel like it’s turning out to be another year
of struggling. Time to reset and change
my plan. Hmmmm… where to start?
I’m no stranger
to the dips and holes and hope every year I can learn a little more to help
with future success. We talk of balance
a lot in our group and with this I am constantly striving to balance my whole
life, sometimes with little success. I
want the lessons I learn in the kwoon to filter out to my life outside the
walls and at the same time allow the lessons I have learned outside in my life
to help better what I do in the kwoon.
For me it’s the meshing of my life in and out that will demonstrate whether
I’m truly on a path of mastery. I cannot
be one person in the kwoon and give the illusion that I have things all figured
out but outside live in a state of chaos or in a manner that does not represent
who I really am and what I really care about and believe. So here I am a work
in progress, still trying to find another strategy, tool or plan that will help
me get back to a place where I can feel like I am making progress and
accomplishing all the things I want and need to and doing it as a way of life rather
than for just a season. I want those who see me in the kwoon to recognize me as
the same person outside.
As I look at my
role models, inspirations and motivators, it is to people who I respect and
believe live and handle ALL of life with character, integrity and
perserverance. They aren’t people who
have it all figured out and all ducks in a row but rather continue to work
towards and hold true to what they believe and cherish. It is in observing and talking to these
individuals that I hope to better find and keep the balance I am in so need of
finding. Life continues to be full of lessons, the moment we quit learning we
die. So as Sid the sloth said, ‘I choose
life.”
Alana Regier
http://alanaregier.blogspot.ca
Picture of the week taken on Brandons and my road trip to Waterton!
